How To Stay Married by Cooper Jilly

Author:Cooper, Jilly [Cooper, Jilly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House UK
Published: 2011-09-28T23:00:00+00:00

Christmas

THE ROW USUALLY starts about September and continues through to February.

Wife: Where shall we go for Christmas, darling?

Husband: Anywhere you like, darling.

Wife: Well I thought we might spend a few days with Mother.

Husband (appalled): With your mother! No drink, and frost because we don’t go to church three times a day. If you think I’m staying with that old cow …

Wife (interrupting with some asperity): What did you have in mind?

Husband: Well I rather thought we might go to Scotland.

Wife: To stay with your parents! No central heating, and those damned dogs – that’s charming.

And the row follows its normal course.

Many people like to go to their families for Christmas and they can’t understand why their partners find it such a strain. If you can’t stand going to either set of parents, get a large dog and say you can’t leave it.

CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

These can be an awful bore, particularly if you come from large families. We’ve evolved a system whereby my husband buys all the men’s presents, and I look after the women and children.

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